Foster Respite Care

Tonight I'm giving my second Toastmasters speech. It's all about foster parenting. Specifically it's about foster respite care. What is "respite care", you ask? That's a good question. Most people I talk to have not heard of foster respite care. When you take in someones children for a few hours or days to give them a break, that's respite care. You're giving the parents respite. Most parents find some sort of respite from their parenting duties. Taking time for yourself is an important part of being a good parent. It not only allows you time to refresh, but it also gives your children an example of how we should make time to take care of ourselves.

Foster parents are more limited than your average parent. They have to follow guidelines and laws set by the state when making decisions about the children in their care. This extends to their choice of caretakers. A foster child can't be left in the care of friend, neighbor, or even family member for long or regular periods of time. Instead they have to rely on other people who are foster licensed.

Have you ever heard this term: "It takes a village to raise a child." It means that parents rely on their social network to be successful. Short breaks and emotional support are a key part the village. Foster respite care providers are at the core of that village.

The state recommends that foster parents get about two days per month of respite care. Unfortunately, there aren't enough people in the system to provide that kind of support. We met a couple at a support group recently who had not been able to find any form of respite in over six months. We offered to take care of the kids for a day, and I believe we have made some very dear friends for doing so.

I believe many people see foster parenting as an on or off issue. Either you open your home to all types of kids, on a moments notice, for an indefinite time, or you don't get involved. But actually it's not like that at all. Some foster parents do open their homes that way. But, they can also offer as little as a few hours here and there. Having a foster license could just mean that you volunteer at your nearest DSHS foster care office. I was told last year that they are understaffed, but they can only accept volunteers who are licensed.

So tonight, I'm crusading for a cause. I'm hoping to open some eyes about getting involved with the foster care program. Perhaps I'll recruit someone new. Maybe I can help someone find a new way to make a difference.

Join Toastmasters, release your inner Dr. Suess

Do you ever try to bring life to the stories you read to your children? Do you sing in the shower when no one is around to hear? Do you have a passionate and lively side of yourself that is just waiting to get out? Maybe you should try Toastmasters!

I am generally a quiet person in public. Most people who know me might not believe that I have a boisterous and rather wacky side. I recently had to speak in front of the sophomore class at our local high school. I only had a couple things to say. It only needed to be a couple minutes. I was terribly nervous. Honestly, I can't even remember what I said when I was up on stage or if I covered the points I meant to. No one threw anything at me, so I guess that's not bad for a high school audience. LOL.

After that experience I decided to expand my horizons a bit and join a local Toastmasters club.
The Little Norway Toastmasters Club is a small group of folks who really care about expanding their speaking skills, and in helping each other succeed. I went to a few meetings and got to know most of the members before I had to give my first speech, the "icebreaker".

I decided I needed to draw on some other parts of my life if I was ever going to get beyond my fear of speaking. Specifically I decided to draw on some aspects of being a dad. I learned early on that my kids respond much better to me when I exaggerate my emotions. I read stories to them. I also make some up, and we always have a lot of fun. My son asked me one time to tell him a story about me and a bottle. Now, I'm a WSU graduate, so I could go a lot of directions with that material! But since he's only 4 yrs old, I had to be creative. I spent weeks spinning new ridiculous yarns about the giant bottle that I could drive by running in it like a hamster. The point is that they loved it, and hoped to draw on that story-telling experience in my "icebreaker".

My first speech was titled "I am Sam". I started by reciting a few lines of Dr. Suess' "Green Eggs and Ham" in a similar way to how I might read it to my kids. I hoped that it would put me in a frame of mind that would carry my confidence through my speech. I sprinkled bit's of information about myself and my family into theme of why I am like the character Sam in Dr. Seuss' book.

My strategy paid off! I don't know if everyone in the room enjoyed the speech, but I can tell you that I did. The club really made me feel great about it, and I went home feeling actually elated about successfully conveying my message in front of a group of people.

So if you've ever considered building a skill in speaking, take this advice: go for it! Be bold, be creative, and find part of your life that really makes you feel good. Then draw on that as your foundation for successful speaking experience.

- Tim



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